4 Steps to Discover Your Purpose

Self-Discovery. Self-Expression. Self-Love.

4 Steps to Discover Your Purpose

4 Steps to Discover Your Purpose by Dominique Wilson

To discover your purpose there are 4 main things you need to know about yourself: Your Core Values, Key Strengths, Unique Gifts, and your next step!

Most of us are blessed with an abundance of knowledge because we live in the information age. However, there is a fine line between useful knowledge that should be applied, and distraction.

So, I wrote this article to help you understand the essential elements that make up this idea of purpose, so that you get better at making everyday decisions that are truly in alignment with who you are and what you want to create in this life.

Based on my journey of self-discovery, I’ve come up with 4 steps to discover your purpose: Determine your core values, Identify Your Key Strengths, Accept Your Unique gifts, and Take Inspired Action.

Here’s a FREE sheet to quickly determine your values and key strengths:

FREE DOWNLOAD: Identify Your Core Values and Strengths


Step 1: Determine Your Core Values

To determine your core values is to explore are what you consciously (or unconsciously) seek to gain and keep throughout life in order to experience happiness and fulfillment.

Values drive your behavior, and influence your perception of the world.

They also determine whether you’re naturally inspired to take action, or require external motivation.

You can tell when something is a value to you because you are naturally compelled to do it joyfully—never seeming to tire of it!

Core values manifest in your behavior (feeling, words, and actions), and the overall characteristics of your current lifestyle.

They are constant, deep, core desires that motivate you from within to think, speak, and behave the way you do—whether you’re consciously aware of them or not.

Your values can change as a result of major life transitions (empty nest, divorce, loss of a loved one, spiritual awakening, illness/injury, massive geographical move, etc.), or conscious reprogramming of your behavior and thought patterns through a high-level of self-awareness.

Core values are NOT simply desirable traits that you can choose from a list because they’re rooted in your core identity, which is formed starting in childhood.

A list however can help by providing you with the language to describe the values you’ve identified by gathered enough objective information about how you currently live your life.

Happiness results from living in alignment with your highest values because in doing so, you have personal freedom to just be YOU.

When you live to your highest values, there is no shame, guilt, or apologizing because you understand that dimming your light to please others is NOT an act of self-love.

When you fully accept who you are, and do your best to live in alignment with your highest values—you become an asset to the world. There is healing, power, abundance, and life in your willingness to show up authentically.

Any time you’re living outside of your values, you will experience stressful emotions (anger, frustration, bitterness, resentment, share, guilt, sadness, loneliness, etc.).

So rather than reacting or trying to escape the stressful emotions—simply notice, and thank them for their feedback.

Emotions are like guardrails, that let you know that you’ve moved out of alignment with who you are.

Get back on the road, and they will peacefully fade away until they’re needed again.

Step 2: Define Your Key Strengths

Your strengths are characteristics of your personality that arise out of your core values.

Different from the broad scope of core values—your strengths are evident in the details of how you show up in life on a day to day basis.

They play a huge role in the way you think, communicate, work, socialize, solve problems, and relate to the world around you.

Research continues to show that people who use their strengths on a daily basis are 3 times more likely to report an excellent quality of life, and 6 times more likely to be engaged at work.

When you know your core values and key strengths, you can determine whether or not your interactions a person, idea, situation, or decision will result in a sense of personal fulfillment.

You can easily look at a business idea, job description, product, resume, dating profile, etc…and see whether or not it would be wise to buy in.

You can also take another look at your relationships and see if the conflict you’ve been experiencing is simply a strength that being overly expressed or repressed on your end or theirs.

Knowing this about yourself is like discovering gold—you’ll save time, money, and energy.

Repressed strengths lead to boredom, resentment, frustration, disengagement, and conflict—this can show up in your relationship, at work, in your business, or your personal growth.

Here’s an example of a repressed strength:

If one of your key strengths is innovation, and you work in a job where your ideas are not valued or welcomed—you will become less engaged because the nature of that job simply isn’t inspiring to you.

Imagine how much control you will have over how your life demonstrates once you learn to identify your strengths, and make adjustments to leverage them for your benefit.

Get Dominique’s FREE PDF DOWNLOAD: Identify Your Core Values and Strengths Now

Step 3: Accept Your Unique Gifts

Every one of us enters this life with a unique set of gifts that empower us to be more authentic while helping one another to grow.

Because your gifts are natural to you, it’s easy to overlook them.

I spent years searching for my purpose in school, work, church, books, videos, seminars, my marriage—you name it!

BUT, at the same time…

I was teaching self-empowerment workshops to elementary school girls in public schools, hosting study groups, tutoring other students, teaching guitar lessons in the community, designing curriculum for pre-K students, posting inspirational blogs about my life lessons, sharing motivational videos, performing open-mics with songs I wrote about following your dreams, and walking people through my step-by-step process of planning a home birth…

Whoa! How the heck did I NOT connect those dots?

I was living my purpose the whole time, but diminishing it as “a little thing I do on the side.”

Can you relate?

Teaching, speaking, writing, inspiring, empowering, motivating, connecting dots that others can’t see, long-term visioning, innovation—these are my spiritual gifts!

Once you accept your gifts, and link them to your core values and key strengths—you’ll open a new realm of possibilities for your life, relationships, career, health, etc.

You’ll also start to see how every time you’ve been unhappy in life, it was because you were either not living in alignment with your values, repressing your strengths, or you weren’t using your natural gifts.

Accepting your gifts is a huge part of your self-empowerment. You can read more about that in my previous post, The Power of Owning Your Story.

Step 4: Take Inspired Action

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” —Paulo Coelho

Self-expression is what actually brings about the results of self-awareness—it’s about taking inspired action.

Got too many ideas floating in your head? Check out my recent post entitled, 5 Reasons to Start Blogging.

You can know yourself inside out, but you will not experience the fulfillment of what this life has to offer you unless you DO SOMETHING with it.

Knowledge of Self + Inspired Action = Purpose 

This is why I started Everything She Touches. I use my gifts of inspiring, educating, and empowering others to see their own brilliance in a way that allows me to grow, while being authentic.

What began as small handmade self-care product line teaching women the value in self-love, has now evolved into a personal development company.

After my divorce, I finally realized what was missing in my life—ME.

I simply wasn’t showing up authentically, and it created a sense of emptiness that I kept failing to fill.

I was so busy living out my dreams in my head, and would-ing, could-ing, should-ing myself…

That I got complacent, then lost, then stuck.

I didn’t take action, and it literally cost me years of unnecessary unhappiness, confusion, frustration, resentment, and unfulfillment.

You CANNOT discover your purpose by simply absorbing information.

You MUST take inspired action. Life is a co-creative process and your ability to grow depends on how you take action.

If you’re still waiting for more clarity, assurance, confidence, or permission to take the first step toward your dream,

…could be starting a blog or business, giving a speech, writing a book, leaving a toxic relationship, moving to a new city, starting a new career, creating your first livestream—what ever it is for you.

Just know that clarity does not come by standing still.

Usually we don’t feel ready when we’re about to do something new or different.

That fear is simply a beautiful part of the human intelligence designed to protect you from eminent danger (such as a nearby hungry lion).

Starting your new life can provoke the same fear, so just remind yourself of that so that you can get started (and that you will NOT get eaten by a lion when you do).

As we grow, shift, and take inspired action—life moves with us in beautiful dance because self-awareness is an ongoing process of realizing more of who and what we are by reconnecting with the source of our being.

To realize means to become fully aware of, clearly understand, and cause something to happen.


You are both the cause and the effect of how your life demonstrates.

No. You can’t control what other people do, say, or think—you’re not responsible for that.

But, you are 100% responsible for how you choose to perceive, respond to, and show up in the world.

This freedom of choice is the secret to your personal power.

Here is a power affirmation that’s been helpful on my journey:

“Life isn’t happening TO me, it’s happening FOR me reveal a greater expression of who and what I AM.”


1)  Answer the following in your journal: To what degree does what you do (job, relationships, lifestyle) allow room for you to be yourself, use your gifts, and strengths?

2)   Post a comment below with 1 inspired action you can take this week in the direction of your dreams.

I look forward to reading your comments :)

Stay Empowered!

In Peace & Beauty,


P.S. Want to quickly determine your core values and strengths? Click the following link to download my FREE PDF Guide:

FREE DOWNLOAD: Identify Your Core Values and Strengths

Know Yourself Private Intensive | Dominique D Wilson

Get 1-on-1 mentoring/coaching in self-discovery with Dominique. This private, 90-minute consultation is designed to help you understand your purpose so that you can start creating the life you want. You'll walk away with clarity on what you want to create in every area of your life, actionable steps, and write a powerful, personal mission statement to help you make it happen!

Get 1-on-1 mentoring/coaching in self-discovery with Dominique. This private, 90-minute consultation is designed to help you understand your purpose so that you can start creating the life you want. You'll walk away with clarity on what you want to create in every area of your life, actionable steps, and write a powerful, personal mission statement to help you make it happen!

Get 1-on-1 mentoring/coaching in self-discovery with Dominique. This private, 90-minute consultation is designed to help you understand your purpose so that you can start creating the life you want. You'll walk away with clarity on what you want to create in every area of your life, actionab steps, and write a powerful, personal mission statement to help you make it happen!